[tw: rape/victim blaming] If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.

If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.

If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.

If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.

If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.

Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists.

A Short Post on Rape Prevention (via brute-reason)

Exactly.

Be honest: You don’t give a shit about rape victims.

You don’t fucking care.

You make excuses for the rapists all the damn time.

This is about policing women’s bodies and telling them to just ‘shut up and stop complaining about your rape because you deserved it’

(via sourcedumal)

Sexual Violence Survey

Hi there. I am conducting research for a project I am doing for my Women’s Studies class about sexual abuse. I am collecting stories from survivors of sexual abuse and forming them into a short documentary to give a face to this important issue. Here is the primary survey for everyone to fill out, regardless of sexual history, and here is the follow-up survey for survivors to share their stories. I would greatly appreciate if you could share this information so that we can get as many submissions as possible. Thank you!

 

submitted by aintlifepeachy

The Project

Trigger Warning

*This site contains content that may be triggering to survivors of rape, sexual assault and abuse. For places you can go for support and advice please see our‘Get Support’ page.*

‘Using The Words’ is a project to share stories of surviving rape and sexual abuse. On these pages, you will find the voices of people who are living through these experiences. They discuss what happened to them, the impact it had, and how they coped with what was happening. The stories are told by survivors, and the people close to them. Many of these stories will be published as a zine in Autumn 2013, but as we collect stories and edit for the zine we’re going to use this blog to share some of the stories that have been sent to us. If you would like to send in a story, please see the ‘Tell Your Story’ page.

We started this project as part of a journey of personal healing. We are survivors, and we are the partners, friends, and family of survivors. We wanted to reach out and understand how our experiences connect to others, and to try to find a language to name what was going on. This is the place we chose. And these are some reasons we chose it.

Sharing our knowledge

We wanted to create a resource that could be shaped and shared. As we go on our personal journeys we often feel very alone, and unsure of how to cope with what is happening. We wanted to create a space where people could see that they are very far from alone, and strategies for survival are shared. We also wanted it to be a space where people could read testimonies from survivors and supporters about parts of the journey yet to come, in the hope it would help them to feel more prepared.

Creating a language of survival

It can feel very scary to try to name and describe our experiences. The word ‘rape’ can make people visibly flinch, or look away. Though for each person the words are different, we want to try and break some of the stigma of discussing rape and abuse. We wanted to create a space where it is ok to use whatever words we need to describe what happened, and where together we can create our own language of survival. This is also a space where friends and relatives can come to start to listen, to confront these words, and to prepare themselves to listen to those close to them.

In our own communities

Through our journeys we have come to understand how ‘out there’ others think rape and abuse is. The media would have us think it only happens in other countries, in the 1970s, to other types of people, to weak people, to ‘victims’. We wanted to create this space to show that it happens everywhere, all the time, to people who are like you as well as people who aren’t, to people you know.

That’s why we write, and why we would like others to write with us.

Awesome new project.

peppermint3y3candy:

pasylree:

#safetytipsforladies: A hashtag about how tired women are of being told to do stupid, ineffective, unrealistic things to avoid being raped.

Men who harass women on the street are part of the same spectrum of the rape culture. They use their power and male privilege to intimidate women and restrict their equality. And, like abusers, they use it to control women. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself how many women adjust where they walk, what time of night they walk, how many people they walk with, what they wear etc. Street harassers, like rapists, have been able to control women’s behaviour. Even women who have never been raped have learned very early that they are not safe on their streets and their communities.
Hollaback Vancity (via funeral)

Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Abuse

Jenn talks about different ways abusers try to control their victims and how abuse is a chosen behaviour. 

Resources:
http://refuge.org.uk/ (women & children)
http://www.mankind.org.uk/ (men)
http://youarenotcrazy.com/ (aimed at women suffering emotional abuse)
http://www.teensagainstabuse.org/index.php (teens)
http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/ (teens)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/abusive_relationships
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/abuse.html(teens)
https://www.gov.uk/report-domestic-abuse (UK report abuse)
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
http://www.ncdv.org.uk/
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_ef…

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lipstick-feminists:

[STRONG TRIGGER WARNING FOR VIOLENCE: includes assassination, gun violence, and gang violence; first link has photos of Gorrostieta’s gunshot wounds]
thepeoplesrecord:

thrillhouse1980:

Having survived two assassination attempts, Mexican mayor found beaten to death
Maria Santos Gorrostieta had been stabbed, beaten and burned
She defied Mexico’s powerful drug gangs, who twice tried to gun her down previously
She was kidnapped in broad daylight in front of her terrified daughter 
The former mayor leaves behind three children
This is an absolutely heart-wrenching and tragic story. If anybody ever dismisses wanting to end the nonsensical US drug war and the cause of drug legalization as something frivolous and self-serving to potheads, make sure you link them this article. 50000 Mexican people have died in cartel violence since 2006.
How in the world do people anywhere in the world find this acceptable?

The violence of the drug war is an everyday reality for Mexico. Yet, these stories are rarely found in American media. 
Just this weekend, 20 bodies were found in a mass grave, asphyxiated, beaten or shot in southeast Juarez, which borders El Paso, Texas.
Drug war violence has claimed more than 50,000 lives in Mexico since 2006. 

lipstick-feminists:

[STRONG TRIGGER WARNING FOR VIOLENCE: includes assassination, gun violence, and gang violence; first link has photos of Gorrostieta’s gunshot wounds]

thepeoplesrecord:

thrillhouse1980:

Having survived two assassination attempts, Mexican mayor found beaten to death

  • Maria Santos Gorrostieta had been stabbed, beaten and burned
  • She defied Mexico’s powerful drug gangs, who twice tried to gun her down previously
  • She was kidnapped in broad daylight in front of her terrified daughter 
  • The former mayor leaves behind three children

This is an absolutely heart-wrenching and tragic story. If anybody ever dismisses wanting to end the nonsensical US drug war and the cause of drug legalization as something frivolous and self-serving to potheads, make sure you link them this article. 50000 Mexican people have died in cartel violence since 2006.

How in the world do people anywhere in the world find this acceptable?

The violence of the drug war is an everyday reality for Mexico. Yet, these stories are rarely found in American media. 

Just this weekend, 20 bodies were found in a mass grave, asphyxiated, beaten or shot in southeast Juarez, which borders El Paso, Texas.

Drug war violence has claimed more than 50,000 lives in Mexico since 2006. 

thosepeskydames:

“Look at the legs on that” - street harassment needs to stop

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual harassment/assault/rape/rape culture.

Jenn discusses why street harassment is not a compliment, and shares experiences of it. 

Article referred to in the video (as a side note, it is very annoying that it apparently takes a man’s voice to show other men the error of their ways. Women have been saying this for a loooong time, but apparently our voices don’t matter to harassers): http://www.theferrett.com/ferrettworks/2012/08/can-i-buy-you-a-coffee/

List of experiences: http://bitemebeautiful.tumblr.com/post/36294308063/street-harassment

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“Look at the legs on that” - street harassment needs to stop

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual harassment/assault/rape/rape culture.

Jenn discusses why street harassment is not a compliment, and shares experiences of it. 

Article referred to in the video (as a side note, it is very annoying that it apparently takes a man’s voice to show other men the error of their ways. Women have been saying this for a loooong time, but apparently our voices don’t matter to harassers): http://www.theferrett.com/ferrettworks/2012/08/can-i-buy-you-a-coffee/

List of experiences: http://bitemebeautiful.tumblr.com/post/36294308063/street-harassment

Find Those Pesky Dames online!Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/thosepeskydamesTumblr: http://thosepeskydames.tumblr.comTwitter: http://www.twitter.com/thosepeskydamesGoogle+: http://gplus.to/thosepeskydamesEmail: thosepeskydames@gmail.com

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