It’s the disconnect of being trained since birth to look a certain way, only to have dudes turn around and go, “Don’t you know we hate all that stuff on your face?” Like it was our idea! Like women collectively woke up one day and thought, “Wouldn’t it be awesome to slap a bunch of chemicals and dyes on our faces every morning from now on?”
We’ve got a multi-billion dollar industry doing their best to remind us daily that we need what they’re selling, so don’t act all befuddled about where we got the idea that we looked better this way. Plus, it’s not like men don’t still expect us to look beautiful. They just don’t want us cheating with cosmetics. Hope your face is naturally flawless!
And while we’re talking, don’t you ladies know how annoying it is that you’re all hung up on your weight? Sure, we expect you to have a great body. But don’t be one of those lame girls who orders salads on a date. We like to see you eat!
Most of the time, when men say they prefer “natural beauty,” they don’t mean that they’re ready for us to start leaving the house the way we roll out of bed in the morning. They mean that they want us to look perfect without appearing to try.
Basically, it’s a trap.

Emily McCombs (via interstellardiamond)

the “natural beauty” garbage is so fucking galling
  • it’s bullshit disingenuous rejection of responsibility for patriarchal beauty standards
  • it hides yet another performance standard: never let us SEE what we are doing to you
  • it shows contempt for effort. people are not supposed to try at anything, you’re supposed to be a gifted special snowflake
  • and admitting that femininity is effort means fundamentally undercutting the idea that women are flighty and trivial and weak
  • and it makes - OF COURSE - the whole thing about dude’s boners, and not the way there are social and financial consequences for not being a little made-up
  • and it is so hostile to the idea of self-expression? someone who wears bright red lipstick does not think that people will actually assume their lips REALLY ARE bright red, any more than we assume a dude who shaves his face is naturally hairless, or think that a person wearing a blue shirt actually has blue arms. sometimes we make aesthetic choices to communicate with the world.
  • which in and of itself depends on women as fundamentally underhanded. of course even the way we present ourselves is a bald-faced lie

basically it is a Gross Things About The Patriarchy 101 midterm all rolled up into one passive-aggressive bid for a pat on the back over some Nice Guy’s “enlightenment”

(via pocochina)

redefiningbodyimage:

Just another example of how beauty standards and body hate are (and always have been) fabricated.

redefiningbodyimage:

Just another example of how beauty standards and body hate are (and always have been) fabricated.

The thing is, my children are perfect. I am the grown up, so I’m supposed to show them everything about life. When they wake up in the morning, though, I stare at them and they’re new. They teach me everything. They are babies and they teach me what it means to be a person. It’s easy to see that they’re beautiful.
I am slow and I am tired. I am round and sagging. I am harried. I am sexless. I am getting older.

I am beautiful. How can this be? How can any of this be true?
I don’t want my girls to be children who are perfect and then, when they start to feel like women, they remember how I thought of myself as ugly and so they will be ugly too. They will get older and their breasts will lose their shape and they will hate their bodies, because that’s what women do. That’s what mommy did. I want them to become women who remember me modeling impossible beauty. Modeling beauty in the face of a mean world, a scary world, a world where we don’t know what to make of ourselves

The thing is, my children are perfect. I am the grown up, so I’m supposed to show them everything about life. When they wake up in the morning, though, I stare at them and they’re new. They teach me everything. They are babies and they teach me what it means to be a person. It’s easy to see that they’re beautiful.

I am slow and I am tired. I am round and sagging. I am harried. I am sexless. I am getting older.

I am beautiful. How can this be? How can any of this be true?

I don’t want my girls to be children who are perfect and then, when they start to feel like women, they remember how I thought of myself as ugly and so they will be ugly too. They will get older and their breasts will lose their shape and they will hate their bodies, because that’s what women do. That’s what mommy did. I want them to become women who remember me modeling impossible beauty. Modeling beauty in the face of a mean world, a scary world, a world where we don’t know what to make of ourselves

thosepeskydames:

No More Page 3?

Some cobbled together thoughts on the #nomorepage3 campaign. Let me know what you think! - Becca x

This Dame:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/somekindofbecca
Tumblr: http://somekindofbecca.tumblr.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/somekindofbecca

Something you’d like to talk about? Want to guest vlog for Those Pesky Dames? Click to find out how: http://thosepeskydames.tumblr.com/guest-videos

First video of the week, reblogging for those who missed it late last night.

No More Page 3?

Some cobbled together thoughts on the #nomorepage3 campaign. Let me know what you think! - Becca x

This Dame:

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/somekindofbecca
Tumblr: http://somekindofbecca.tumblr.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/somekindofbecca

Something you’d like to talk about? Want to guest vlog for Those Pesky Dames? Click to find out how: http://thosepeskydames.tumblr.com/guest-videos

Remember that time we said we were going to be in Reveal Magazine…

Before you read on we should probably note where it say “Becca says…” etc it means, they spoke to us, extrapolated that into a “journalist-y” (their words) article, which was then read back for us to agree to. Just FYI. 

First image is of the super small print down the side and reads: “Becca, Emily, Subi and Holly-Rae run a site called Those Pesky Dames. For more info, visit thosepeskydames.tumblr.com or youtube.com/ThosePeskyDames

Second image features sections for Becca and Emily and reads as follows:

Becca: Quote line in all caps, ‘Shaving is a waste of time and money’.

“Becca Rothwell, 27, a social media trainer who lives with her boyfriend in London says: ‘I stopped shaving a few years ago when I realised it was a waste of time and money. I haven’t shaved for almost a year now and it doesn’t bother me.

It’s scary to think how much women spend on shaving, waxing and laser hair removal. On average, it costs around £30 for an underarm wax in the UK and , although every woman is different, hair usually grows back within three to fgour weeks, so it’s money down the drain!

I’ve heard people say it’s “dirty” when women don’t shave, but that’s rubbish. I have impeccable hygiene and body odour’s not a problem if you wear deodorant.

My boyfriend’s seen me with hair under my armpits and without, we’ve even talked about it and he really doesn’t care. Our sex life is still good whether I’m hairy for hairless.

I shaved my legs a few weeks ago for my cousin’s wedding I only did so because I didn’t want the guests staring at my hairy legs when they should be gazing at the beautiful bride, but it’ll probably be another year before I shave again.’”

Emily: Quote line in all caps, ‘I’ll never shave for a man again’

“Emily Inglis, 18, a student from Hertfordshire, says: ‘Up until last year, my underarms were clean-shaven, but then I got into a relationship and suggested to my boyfriend that I might stop shaving as the hair didn’t bother me and I felt it was a pointless exercise. He told me he preferred me to shave. I was surprised by his reaction because I didn’t think he wouldn mind. His attitude put me off him.

Last November, we split up and I stopped shaving altogether. The truth is, I can’t be bothered to de-fuzz every day and I’m not interested in anyone who puts pressure on me to do so. It’s me they should love - hairy armpits or not. I know there’s probably hundreds of women reading this who are in relationships and feel their other half would be shocked if they stopped shaving. Maybe they would be, but they’d soon get over it.

If a man ever told me he “preferred” me hairless again, I’d tell him to like it or lump it. Women should have confidence in themselves to be who they want to be. Perhaps us girls would like our men hairless, too - have they ever thought about that?’”

Third image features sections for Subi and Holly-Rae and reads as follows:

Subi: Quote line in all caps, ‘Men don’t care if women shave or not’

“Subi Wahogo, 19, a student from Reading, says: ‘I haven’t shaved my armpits since December 2011, mainly out of laziness and the fact I don’t care what people think of me. I’ve never had any negative comments to my face, but I’ve heard them about “hairy girls” in conversation. They’re mainly from girls - I think we’re more self-critical because we’re scared of criticism coming from someone else.

Men don’t seem to care about these things as much as we think. Every guy I’ve been with hasn’t given two hoots if I shave or not. I think women are terrified by the fear of their partner turning around and saying they’re gross and have “let themselves go”. But if he cares about you, he shouldn’t care about your hair!

I was so shocked when I saw Pixie Lott’s picture as there was barely any hair there. I can’t believe people were making such a fuss about a tiny bit of stubble. It’s not like she’s suddenly going to lose her ability to sing, and thus all her fans, because she didn’t pick up her razor for a few days.’”

Holly: Quote line in all caps, ‘Why should women apologise for not shaving?’

Holly-Rae Smith, 23, a bra-fitter from Cambridge, says: ‘It’s disturbing that women are criticised by the media for having fuzz under their arms. Being a bra-fitter, I see women’s pits every day and find it strange when women apologise for not shaving. It’s indicative of the society we live in. Why are women apologising for something so natural? Do men apologise when they go to a tailor’s with hair on their legs, or when they go to see the doctor with pubic hair? No. So why do women feel ashamed of their body hair? 

It’s a shame women are criticised for being happy with the way they are. If they don’t want to shave, that’s up to them, but it shouldn’t be mandatory.

I heard that Jennifer Aniston hates having any hair down below and has been know to go at it with tweezers if she finds some. I’m surprised by the extremes women go through for the price of “beauty”. I felt encouraged when I heard Pixie Lott had been snapped with hairy pits, but when I looked at the photo, it was no way near as hair and “scary” as mine! Us Brits really need to get a life and talk about something important’”.

Fourth image is from the front cover of the magazine and shows a picture of Holly-Rae, a young women with short blonde hair, wearing a bright blue dress and showing her armpit hair. The caption in all caps reads, “Real women: ‘We love our hairy armpits’”. (TPD note - “Real women”, ugh.)

Fifth and final image is from the inside cover of the magazine and shows a picture of Emily, a young women with tied back wavy dark hair, wearing a leopard print dress and showing her armpit hair. The caption in reads, “Hairy and proud. The real women who won’t shave their pits.”

Article by Georgette Culley for Reveal Magazine.

Maybe she’s born with it - Maybe it’s Fotoshop

Reblogged this before but it’s still good for another post as it brought a smile to my face this morning :)

Non shaving, non dieting future bride WLTM inspiration and strength to be myself on my wedding day!

Hello hello!

I saw you on the BBC whenever it was. You were AWESOME! I was totally inspired! I quit shaving a few months ago (after Emer O’Toole’s piece in the guardian) and I too felt totally empowered and far more body confident. It’s been awesome! However, I am getting married in August and I don’t know what to do. I hadn’t thought about it when I stopped shaving (my life doesn’t revolve around my wedding surprise surprise) but when I talk to people about it…the first response I get is: but you’re GOING TO SHAVE FOR YOUR WEDDING AREN’T YOU?? (caps is emphasis for actual volume, tone and shock). And of course my rebellious self is thinking, errr, NO. Why would I submit to what YOU think I should do or what the freakin patriarchy thinks I should do. But I’m scared…isn’t that lame? I’m scared of 140 eyes (actually that makes it 280 eyes!) on me and my arms (dress has mini sleeves but it pokes out) and legs (my non white dress is knee length). Close friends have all suggested I should do what makes me happy blablabla. Sure, isnt’ that what we try and do every day? But on the day where you are expected to be PERFECT, not shaving is not acceptable. I don’t want to shave, but I need the strength and inspiration to stick with this. Help me! Where do I find the strength?!

Thanks!!

Hello!

Thanks for sharing this with us. I’m afraid my advice as a non-married, not-planning-on-getting-married, non-shaving feminist would be more of the same “do what makes you happy”.

Your comfort and happiness are the most important thing and you shouldn’t feel you have to keep your hair if you want to remove it for the Big Day, any more than you should feel you have to shave it. Remember, even if it does come off for the wedding, it’ll grow back shortly after.

However that’s clearly not what you’re asking for, so hopefully some of our lovely pesky followers can help with some better advice about finding the strength to stay hairy for your wedding.

- Becca x



 

“You aren’t on our minds, and we don’t care what you think is attractive or unattractive. We aren’t trying to be beautiful for you. If we were, we’d walk around in Victoria’s Secret fashion show lingerie all the time… actually, that would be kinda fun.”

I love this video.

Click through to watch the video too, it is brilliant.

(Although an additional point needs to be made that sadly many people, particularly women, do feel pressured to dress for others instead of for themselves. People do wear make-up, and wear certain clothes, and have cosmetic surgery to fit in with the very narrow standard we’re told is “beautiful”. People also do these things because they themselves think they’re beautiful and that’s how they want their body to look.

Body mods and beauty practices aren’t the problem, the pressure for people to conform to a certain set of standards is. - Becca)

internal-acceptance-movement:

While we talk a lot about harmful media beauty ideals like extreme thinness, appearance-focused “fitness,” sex appeal, and photoshopping phoniness, one of the most oppressive ideals excludes anyone who isn’t … white. We call it the whitewashing of beauty.