Did….did the Ginsters advert just tell me to get back in the kitchen and make a sandwich… I mean pasty?
Last year Those Pesky Dames did a week of videos discussing internet misogyny, trolls, triggering and gendered comment abuse.
This week my video (see above) attracted some enlightening comments from a user who felt the need to explain to me that, like all women, I was just being over sensitive, that it was all just a joke, they didn’t mean it, and any way this is the internet not real life!
Oh, and that by pre-moderating my comments to create a safe space I’m actually the one at fault for “trying to control the internet”, by not giving these jokers the chance to share their hilarious wit.
Tumblr I share with you this little slice of privileged ignorance.butthurt? i think so. the vast majority of people who put these things on the internet dont mean them, and are just jokes. and i can see my comment wont get through, because you partake in censorship on a site which thrives on communication.
I responded:
Decided to allow your comment because I felt like responding at least once to the “it’s just a joke/it’s just banter” bullshit. Rape threats, threats of physical violence, sexist insults & emotional manipulation are not “just jokes” they’re a way of trying to control people & shut them up. I don’t care if they ‘mean’ them or not, they’re creating a hostile environment that ‘thrives’ on abuse, not communication. This channel thrives on respectful human discussion instead.
sorry, usually when people censor comments its because their afraid of others opinions. i can see your not, it may be an issue, but im saying the vast vast majority of people who put those things wouldnt auctually do that in real life. they are just jokes on the internet. they may not be in real life but they are on the internet. and you seem to be very into shutting people up and controlling them by hating “sexist” internet comments. and trying to stop them.
I responded:
“Sexist” internet comments, because you don’t accept them as sexist, even though they are. I don’t care how funny someone thinks they’re being these comments aren’t ‘jokes’ they’re abusive bullying, both in real life and on the internet. My video, our channel, my responsibility to create a safe space. One where people feel able to comment without fear of being attacked and potentially triggered by these ‘jokers’, or as I prefer to call them, sexist dicks.
like i said, taking a joke too seriously. but i guess if people fear these comments and people, when theyre half way across the world, they should throw their computer away and never look back. funny, just because some people are auctually sexist not this psuedo sexists that you describe while trying to control the internet, you find it acceptable to abuse them, just cause their racist/sexist -whatever dosent make it ok for you to abuse them. kinda hypocritical.
I responded:
Your ignorance would be hilarious if it wasn’t so sad. Sure, I’m the abusive one here, not the poor innocent “pseudo sexists” who just want to be free to make violent threats against women, tell rape jokes that trigger survivors, and shout women down for daring to express an opinion. Excuse me if I don’t cry myself to sleep at night over their plight. We’re not trying to control the internet, but we will control this safe space. End of.
Their final comment didn’t get past the moderator, mainly because the moderator was bored of this by now.
again, trying to be the one that is fair to every type of individual and yet, like every other person finding a group of people to let your insults and rage out on. your such a hypocrite. . why do you have to insult me? and i hardly think that rape jokes, and physical abuse threats are included in “get back in the kitchen”. butthurt much?
Realising that I obviously wasn’t going to approve this last comment though they also felt the need to send through a final message:
Subject line: get back in the kitchen
i think our conversation has reached its end due to someone (you) deciding to insult, and to mock. i tried to have an intelligent conversation with you to get a real reason why you think those jokes are harmful, and i got an answer, you and alot of other feminists are simply too sensitive and take jokes way out of context, and way too seriously. you, like everyone else has a group you like to let your hate and discrimination on. believe it or not, sexists and racists are people too (i dont condone their actions) and you dont have to either, they are just people too. and i will follow your rhetoric by saying “you cant just shut them up with threats and insults”. you think women go through a plight? they dont, they get everything handed to them in this world and they complain for more. so, i will conclude this by saying. get back in the kitchen.
TL;DR: Oh Tumblr, they tried to have an “intelligent conversation” and explain to me why I was taking it all too seriously. It’s just a joke, lighten up. What are you getting upset about? Why are you so angry? But mean ol’ internet controlling feminist that I am I just wouldn’t listen, and instead I said mean things back to them, which just isn’t fair.
If I’m allowed to be sarcastic and call them out for their sexist bullshittery why can’t they tell sexist and racist jokes that demean and intimidate women and people of colour. It’s not fair, sexists and racists are people too you guys, they do have feelings you know! You’re discriminating against their right to be sexist racist assholes.
Thankfully I was able to resist the urge to tell him “it’s just a joke, stop being over sensitive, lighten up”.
