sinidentidades:

This weekend, the League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) passed a resolution supporting same-sex marriage and opposing discrimination or the denial of civil rights against any American. Jesse Garcia, LULAC member and co-founder of its first LGBT Council, explained the significance of the resolution:

GARCIA: Today the LULAC National Membership reaffirmed its commitment to equality for all by voting in favor of marriage equality. LULAC stands with great Latino leaders like Dolores Huerta, San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro and Labor Secretary Hilda Solis who believe discrimination of same-sex couples should not be tolerated. This is a historic day for LGBT Latin@s everywhere, plus this vote is another bond that reaffirms the partnership between the LGBT and Hispanic communities.

Huerta, as an example, wrote in May that the LGBT community and immigrants are “all in this together.” LULAC joins the National Council of La Raza, which also recently passed a resolution supporting marriage equality.

As one of the oldest organizations advocating for Latin@ rights, LULAC further obliterates conservatives’ efforts to sow divisions between people of color and the LGBT community. Opposing discrimination and supporting equality are values many communities can unite behind.

tooyoungforthelivingdead:


 Marvel Comics makes history with a gay X-Men marriage.Marvel Comics’ Astonishing X-Men is set to experience a new sound effect on top of its booms, whams, and sknits: the bong of wedding bells. Specifically, it’s the wedding bells of Marvel’s first gay marriage between longtime X-Man Northstar and his civilian boyfriend, Kyle. After pairing up the couple in 2009, Marvel is officially tying their knot in June’s Astonishing X-Men #51.(x) 

more productive than lusting after Iceman!

tooyoungforthelivingdead:

Marvel Comics makes history with a gay X-Men marriage.

Marvel Comics’ Astonishing X-Men is set to experience a new sound effect on top of its booms, whams, and sknits: the bong of wedding bells. Specifically, it’s the wedding bells of Marvel’s first gay marriage between longtime X-Man Northstar and his civilian boyfriend, Kyle. After pairing up the couple in 2009, Marvel is officially tying their knot in June’s Astonishing X-Men #51.

(x) 

more productive than lusting after Iceman!

What is secular marriage for? - [Guest Vlog]

Want to guest vlog for Those Pesky Dames, email us at thosepeskydames{at}gmail{dot}com.

Guest vlogger Koel discusses the purpose of civil marriage and why there is no place for a democratic vote on this issue.

Mayor of Newark, New Jersey saying that the issue of equal marriage shouldn’t be decided by democracy, “it is ridiculous and offensive to me that we are still having this debate…” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4Z7tl7Vy8U

More videos on marriage equality - http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL78C7AEAD21B524F8

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Sorry for the lateness of this video. Just my thoughts on how same gender marriage can be used as a force for security and goodness and also a little bit about the sexism/homophobia clusterfuck that is the media’s portrayal of lesbian couples.

briefbutstillinfinite:

thosepeskydames:

siouxbang:

thosepeskydames:

Steph doesn’t like marriage

TW cissexism, bierasure, d/v, rape I may have talked more about marriage than marriage equality because ARGH. (I wish I’d made this video two weeks ago, would have been a good revision tool =p). Also much as I dislike marriage personally I don’t have any particularly strong feelings towards other people getting married and I LOVE weddings (plus I kinda have a wedding photography thing on the side so…). And I repeated some of Becca’s points because firefox crashed half way through her video and WOULDN’T WORK AGAIN until after I’d done my video. Annoying! Also I think I have some posts on marriage on my tumblr under the tag marriage or family law if anyone’s interested in other law/marriage related things.

I wanted to make a fairly in-depth reply to this one because it made me think and stuff. I was going to make a video response to fit everything in, but that is scary, so I’ll respond here instead. SOOOO.

First of all I found it really interesting that same-sex marriage is only ever referred to as “gay marriage” even though other non-hetero groups and trans people experience the same difficulties. It’s disheartening to realise, even as a bi/pan (I don’t like to use the word pan to describe myself but I’ll use it here for clarification) person, that it never crossed my mind before, but I guess we can never stop checking our own privilege. In particular this must be a huge point of contention for trans people, and this is almost never addressed, even within the LGBT community. While I agree that bi people are often not taken seriously WITHIN that community, trans people have a hard time being taken seriously in ANY community, a point which is compacted by this simple fact: same-sex marriage is gay marriage. It’s not even same-gender marriage, because if your gender identity and legal sex don’t “match up”, you face the same problems and nobody even talks about it.

This led me to think about why this is, and I think the simple answer for people who are not LGBTQ-identifying is that “gay marriage” makes it a Gay Issue and people can think to themselves “well I don’t want/need to think about those issues because they don’t affect me”, while “same-sex” or “same-gender” marriage is too harsh a reminder that the people who want to get married are actual people who have genders and feelings.

Second point! A question about marriage. I think I’m actually pretty pro-marriage, something I realised while watching this video, but I certainly don’t think it’s something that should be as societally expected of people as it is, and I of course believe that if it’s going to exist it needs to be made so that anybody can marry anybody they love, regardless of gender.

Question: Out of curiosity, what do you think would be a good alternative to marriage [EDIT: By this I mean if marriage were abolished, not an alternative for different groups of people!], in terms of it “legalising” a relationship with regards to finances, sickness, etc? For example, someone might be seeing someone for a year or so, but wouldn’t want them involved in any decision-making if something happened. That’s something usually defined by a marriage - which can be both a good and bad thing. Do you think civil partnerships are any better/worse? Do you know of any working alternatives?

Thirdly and lastly! There are obviously a LOT of issues affecting LGBTQ people, including homelessness, violence and emotional abuse. These are all things that need to be tackled. There is an argument, touched upon here, that seeking marriage equality takes away from these more urgent issues. 

I agree that marriage equality debate does steer attention away from the very real problems that LGBTQ people are dealing with on a daily basis. The problem is that those issues are a symptom of a society which is, by institutionalising discrimination and denying people the same opportunities and rights, validating the ill-treatment of those people. I’m not saying that marriage equality will make those problems go away, and I’m not saying we should stop tackling them; I’m simply saying that the fight for marriage equality is about more than getting married. It’s about being afforded the same legal rights as opposite-sex relationships, and being treated as equals, rather than second-class citizens. 

Okay, I’m coming up for air now. This week’s TPD topic really made me think about same-gender marriage rather than just gay marriage, and made me think about what the movement will mean for trans people, bi/pan/queer people, and anybody in same-gender relationships. I feel stupid for not thinking critically enough about it earlier, but I’m glad I’ve been forced to call myself out on it.

Thoughts etc welcome, obv. I’m still learning about a lot of social justice issues in the world and if there’s anything you want to take me to task here, hop to it! :)

Really in depth response to Steph’s video this week! Responses make us do a happy dance. ^_^

I’ll try to reply to this as best I can -

Question: Out of curiosity, what do you think would be a good alternative to marriage in terms of it “legalising” a relationship with regards to finances, sickness, etc? For example, someone might be seeing someone for a year or so, but wouldn’t want them involved in any decision-making if something happened. That’s something usually defined by a marriage - which can be both a good and bad thing. Do you think civil partnerships are any better/worse? Do you know of any working alternatives?

I have several alternatives that I like - I mean, I personally rather like civil partnership as it doesn’t have the thing with sex in the anullment section (although my lecturer said that’s because parliament didn’t really want to discuss same sex sex!) but it does have the problematic stuff with mental illness (ARGH). I like that it doesn’t have the baggage which comes with marriage hisorically (like the whole viewing women as property thing and all your legal rights going to your husband and the like) and that it doesn’t have the same religious connotations of marriage - I also really like the gender-neutral language of partners and I like the partnership idea for a relationship anyway. I find the whole civil partnership thing a lot nicer than marriage and I’d like it if civil partnership were the legal thing and then marriage was more religious/ceremonial with no actual legal implications.

BUT that said I don’t think that system would address all the problems in family law governing adult relationships; given that cohabiting couples don’t really have any rights (and often aren’t aware of this or mean to do something about it and don’t or are waiting to get married but feel they can’t afford it etc)  I really think there needs to be a system for cohabitees in general (tbh, I think it’s be good if there was an opt in system for cohabitees who aren’t in a relationship because I dislike the privileging of romantic relationships above all others).

I think having to sign up for rights seems not to be working anymore so an opt out system would be best - perhaps if after a year of living together you get set rights and you can choose not to have those rights and responsibilities towards each other if you wish? I quite like the system in france too where you can make essentially a contract with each other which has a minimum standard of rights which you can then add to and make your own consequences for - I really like that idea and there’s a far less arduous process when it comes to dissolving them too! I also think that such agreements/pacts should be able to be made with more than one person and between more than two people so as to include polyamorous relationships - if there were a system where rights apply to cohabitees that should be relatively easy because it would just mean if you were living together for x amount of time then you have the rights unless you opt out - regardless of how many people were in the house. The opt out option would also allow couples with housemates to ensure that those rights etc don’t extend to them if they don’t want to.

I agree that marriage equality debate does steer attention away from the very real problems that LGBTQ people are dealing with on a daily basis. The problem is that those issues are a symptom of a society which is, by institutionalising discrimination and denying people the same opportunities and rights, validating the ill-treatment of those people. I’m not saying that marriage equality will make those problems go away, and I’m not saying we should stop tackling them; I’m simply saying that the fight for marriage equality is about more than getting married. It’s about being afforded the same legal rights as opposite-sex relationships, and being treated as equals, rather than second-class citizens.

I agree with you completely, which is why I’m not against marriage equality and think it’s a good thing - I just think that the focus on marriage equality being as great as it is is negative (which i think you get, just clarifying for anyone who wasn’t sure of what I think!)

Sorry this is REALLY long - I find marriage and its alternatives really interesting and given my recent exam in family law I still have a LOT of thoughts fresh in my mind about it all!

siouxbang:

thosepeskydames:

Steph doesn’t like marriage

TW cissexism, bierasure, d/v, rape I may have talked more about marriage than marriage equality because ARGH. (I wish I’d made this video two weeks ago, would have been a good revision tool =p). Also much as I dislike marriage personally I don’t have any particularly strong feelings towards other people getting married and I LOVE weddings (plus I kinda have a wedding photography thing on the side so…). And I repeated some of Becca’s points because firefox crashed half way through her video and WOULDN’T WORK AGAIN until after I’d done my video. Annoying! Also I think I have some posts on marriage on my tumblr under the tag marriage or family law if anyone’s interested in other law/marriage related things.

I wanted to make a fairly in-depth reply to this one because it made me think and stuff. I was going to make a video response to fit everything in, but that is scary, so I’ll respond here instead. SOOOO.

First of all I found it really interesting that same-sex marriage is only ever referred to as “gay marriage” even though other non-hetero groups and trans people experience the same difficulties. It’s disheartening to realise, even as a bi/pan (I don’t like to use the word pan to describe myself but I’ll use it here for clarification) person, that it never crossed my mind before, but I guess we can never stop checking our own privilege. In particular this must be a huge point of contention for trans people, and this is almost never addressed, even within the LGBT community. While I agree that bi people are often not taken seriously WITHIN that community, trans people have a hard time being taken seriously in ANY community, a point which is compacted by this simple fact: same-sex marriage is gay marriage. It’s not even same-gender marriage, because if your gender identity and legal sex don’t “match up”, you face the same problems and nobody even talks about it.

This led me to think about why this is, and I think the simple answer for people who are not LGBTQ-identifying is that “gay marriage” makes it a Gay Issue and people can think to themselves “well I don’t want/need to think about those issues because they don’t affect me”, while “same-sex” or “same-gender” marriage is too harsh a reminder that the people who want to get married are actual people who have genders and feelings.

Second point! A question about marriage. I think I’m actually pretty pro-marriage, something I realised while watching this video, but I certainly don’t think it’s something that should be as societally expected of people as it is, and I of course believe that if it’s going to exist it needs to be made so that anybody can marry anybody they love, regardless of gender.

Question: Out of curiosity, what do you think would be a good alternative to marriage [EDIT: By this I mean if marriage were abolished, not an alternative for different groups of people!], in terms of it “legalising” a relationship with regards to finances, sickness, etc? For example, someone might be seeing someone for a year or so, but wouldn’t want them involved in any decision-making if something happened. That’s something usually defined by a marriage - which can be both a good and bad thing. Do you think civil partnerships are any better/worse? Do you know of any working alternatives?

Thirdly and lastly! There are obviously a LOT of issues affecting LGBTQ people, including homelessness, violence and emotional abuse. These are all things that need to be tackled. There is an argument, touched upon here, that seeking marriage equality takes away from these more urgent issues. 

I agree that marriage equality debate does steer attention away from the very real problems that LGBTQ people are dealing with on a daily basis. The problem is that those issues are a symptom of a society which is, by institutionalising discrimination and denying people the same opportunities and rights, validating the ill-treatment of those people. I’m not saying that marriage equality will make those problems go away, and I’m not saying we should stop tackling them; I’m simply saying that the fight for marriage equality is about more than getting married. It’s about being afforded the same legal rights as opposite-sex relationships, and being treated as equals, rather than second-class citizens. 

Okay, I’m coming up for air now. This week’s TPD topic really made me think about same-gender marriage rather than just gay marriage, and made me think about what the movement will mean for trans people, bi/pan/queer people, and anybody in same-gender relationships. I feel stupid for not thinking critically enough about it earlier, but I’m glad I’ve been forced to call myself out on it.

Thoughts etc welcome, obv. I’m still learning about a lot of social justice issues in the world and if there’s anything you want to take me to task here, hop to it! :)

Really in depth response to Steph’s video this week! Responses make us do a happy dance. ^_^

Steph doesn’t like marriage

TW cissexism, bierasure, d/v, rape I may have talked more about marriage than marriage equality because ARGH. (I wish I’d made this video two weeks ago, would have been a good revision tool =p). Also much as I dislike marriage personally I don’t have any particularly strong feelings towards other people getting married and I LOVE weddings (plus I kinda have a wedding photography thing on the side so…). And I repeated some of Becca’s points because firefox crashed half way through her video and WOULDN’T WORK AGAIN until after I’d done my video. Annoying! Also I think I have some posts on marriage on my tumblr under the tag marriage or family law if anyone’s interested in other law/marriage related things.

10 Reasons for Not Supporting Marriage Equality

I got my rainbow flag out specially. Well hey look at all the links down there…

Other good videos discussing marriage equality:

Lindsey (Pottermoosh) on the sarcaschicks: http://youtu.be/AU1eatd8CWU
Hank Green on the vlogbrothers: http://youtu.be/PD-INsIbVcw

LINKS!

UK Defence Secretary, Philip Hammond, claims gay marriage should not be a priority because the public is more worried about the economy: http://news.pinkpaper.com/NewsStory/7396/13/05/2012/defence-secretary-refuses…
UK Treasury failed to consider how spending cuts would affect women, disabled people and ethnic minorities: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/may/14/treasury-censured-spending-cuts…

“Why are you concentrating on X when Y is so much more important?”: http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/04/12/faq-why-are-you-concentrat…

Intersectionality and Marginalisation in Feminism playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL16E067FEDEA1FAAA

“Trickle-down Justice”: http://fromonesurvivortoanother.tumblr.com/post/22772608474/i-finally-figured…

Gay Americans’ risk of mistaking marriage equality for total equality: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/may/13/gay-americans-…

This Dame:

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Those Pesky Dames:

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Hello thar!
So the results of our big meta/crisis week seem to be that we should just keep doing what we’re doing now, but start telling you what we’re talking about in advance, starting…NOW.
This week we thought we’d wade in on that whole marriage equality thing everyone’s been talking about, and the week after we’ll be talking about…we’re not quite sure yet but we’ll let you know soon.
So if you want to do a guest video on this (or any thing else) then let us know. ♥

Hello thar!

So the results of our big meta/crisis week seem to be that we should just keep doing what we’re doing now, but start telling you what we’re talking about in advance, starting…NOW.

This week we thought we’d wade in on that whole marriage equality thing everyone’s been talking about, and the week after we’ll be talking about…we’re not quite sure yet but we’ll let you know soon.

So if you want to do a guest video on this (or any thing else) then let us know. ♥